Well, if you’re keeping an eye on the calendar, you’ll see that there are only 6 scoring periods left in the fantasy baseball season. That’s right….only a month and a half left to go. Trade deadlines have passed, free agent waiver wires have been picked clean, and in numerous leagues, the best you can do as an owner is hang on for dear life and just hope for the best from your players. But that doesn’t mean that you just have to sit and take it when your team puts together an entire night of suck, does it? Your team hits an aggregate .167 with no home runs, one RBI and a only a pair of runs scored and you just have to sit quietly? Hell no! While some guys like to punch holes in the wall or beat their wives, their dogs or their TV remote controls in anger and frustration, I like to pound it out here on the keyboard. And for the sake of your family, your pets and your bank accounts (those flat screens are still pretty expensive), I recommend the same. Get it all out here in the comments section, people! It’s time for another bitch session! Welcome back to the Fantasy Baseball Complaint Department.
Let me just start it out by saying that of the 6 fantasy baseball leagues that I am in this year, two of them have been complete disasters. One of them, which has the same rules as my primary fantasy baseball rotisserie league, I got seriously hosed in the blind bid draft. Three of the guys in the league took each and every little tidbit of information off of my pre-draft coverage here and ended up outbidding me on a number of my picks. Guess that’s the way it goes when you put it all out fo rthe public to see. What’s worse is that it happened again during free agent pick ups, so I was forced to tank this year and make preparations for the following season. It is, in fact, a keeper league.
The other league was a head to head league, 5×5 standard categories and the injury bug was on me like a fat kid on cake. If he was a 5th round pick or better, he spent significant time on the DL for me, and the season was a bust by the time the All Star Break rolled around. I used up all my DL spots and my allotted roster moves too early as I scrambled to recover after each and every injury was diagnosed.
A third league is actually an Experts League on BenchwarmerBaseball.net, so I usually don’t count that one when it comes to this site. The rules are very different from standard play and it’s all about building for the future. Last year was my first year and I missed the deadline on contracts (damn these in-season vacations) after learning that we were doing it as a keeper league and not a standard re-draft Experts League. I definitely recommend checking out the site though as it is a great game with a very interesting spin. It’s mor elike the old robot baseball guys used to play in the 70′s before the birth of roto play. I’m still in first in the Bloggers Division, but my record, and frankly, a good chunk of my team, sucks.
Which brings me to my other three leagues. We’ve got my primary league, another league just like it, and my head to head points league. I’m competitive in all three of them, but bad things seem to be happening all around and it’s driving me insane! Hence the need for another gripe session. So I’ll get the ball rolling and you feel free to chime in whenever. Here we go…
So here’s how last week started for me – weekly moves only in the three relevant leagues, so once the first game begins on Monday, the rosters are frozen. Geovany Soto has been a freakin’ champ here in the second half and I’ve been ecstatic with his level of play since acquiring him at the deadline in a big deal that saw me trade away Evan Longoria. Well, Soto tweaked his shoulder just before the weekend and every sports site around said the same thing: nothing serious, day to day, should be fine for the upcoming scoring period, etc. I checked Cubs sites, blogs, and all of the relevant fantasy sites such as RotoWorld, RotoTimes, and CBS Sportsline. Even Fanball’s MLB NewsBreakers email said all of that. So what the *%#^ is up with putting him on the *%#^! DL on Tuesday?!?!? Nothing like a big fat hhole in your lineup with nothing you can do about it.
When the hell is Andy Pettitte coming back? Another guy I got in the Longoria trade and it’s killing me! Sure, I’ve got some pitching depth, but I’d rather have the winningest pitcher in post-season history than having to sweat out another Mike Pelfrey start.
And speaking of sweating out starts, what the hell is going on with Gavin Floyd? WTF??? He went from zero to hero and right back to zero with these last two starts. I’m hoping it’s just against Minnesota that he puts up these suck-ass stats, because I am not goin gto be happy if I either A. have to bench him or B. have to see another pitching line like these last two outings.
Really, Chone Figgins? Really? I said you were going to struggle when you first signed with the Mariners, but I don’t think anyone saw it comin gthat you were going to be this bad.
Welcome to the Braves, Derrek Lee. Maybe you can be rejuvenated down in Atlanta because you’ve been nothing short of disappointing this year in Chicago. Oh, and your arrival helped send Troy Glaus to the DL and probably out of a job too. Thanks for that one, dipshit!
Can somebody PLEASE tell Carlos Gonzalez to take it easy on himself in the freakin’ field??? I can’t afford to lose you!
Matt Lindstrom — 2-1 with a 2.80 ERA and 21 saves before the All Star Break. 0-3 with a 10.13 ERA and one save after. Now he’s lost his job and is on the DL with his stupid back issues. Damn the cheap closer strategy!!! Damn it! Never again. Bonafide closers only from here on out…
So long Josh Willingham! Another moron who brought me a big case of suck in the second half. A .225 average with just one home run since the break and now he’s done for the season with a torn meniscus in his knee. Why now?? Why????
Hey Joe Maddon — thanks for making Sean Rodriguez your starting second baseman and then going back to the platoon after he has a bad week. I’m still reeling from that. How’s he supposed to get back on track if you keep him out of the lineup for pieces of crap like Reid Brignac and Matt Joyce?
And finally, because I no whave to go dig up a bunch of valium or a vicodin or a percocet or something….get your head out of your ass, Clint Barmes! Your .243 average is dogshit, your lack of production lately has been horiffic, and now you’re losing time to Eric Young, Jr. Bring me back to the days before you were schlepping deer meat up the stairs! I’ll still never forgive Todd Helton for that one.
Oh yeah! And Roger Clemens indicted for perjury? Who gives a shit? That story is about as new and relevant as Brett Favre’s retirement. Give me a ^%*#! break!!!
Like I said, I’m spent now. Got nothing left in me here. Just gonna bite the bullet and hope for the best. It’s really all I can do right now. But for you…if you can still make roster moves and free agent pick-ups…it’s crunch time. The close of the season will be upon you before you know it, so stay strong and stay active. Nothing worse than losing your spot in the top of the standings this far in. And if you got something to add below, please do. Let me know that I am not alone in my angst and frustration.
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